Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Ladies & Gentlemen

The following is the text of a pre-recorded customer advisory announcement from the NYC subway system. The recording was made by a woman. In my opinion, it is pure poetry, right through to how she stresses the last line. It has to be heard to be appreciated, and I'll try to find an audio file. 

Ladies and gentlemen, 
If your destination is South Ferry,
You must be in one of the first five cars
Ahead of the conductor's position,
If you wish to exit the train
At the South Ferry Station. 

ҫпешӥҭing the night away...

"And then what happened?"

"Well, officer, I looked over, and he... he... He ҫпешӥҭєd!" 

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Buy Our Things!

On Fulton Street in Cypress Hills, a 99¢ store is selling… "witer". Two for the price of one! 

Writers? Winters?  Good luck trying to return them.