Soon it will be the Loooooong Island Rail Road

The Long Island Rail Road takes commuters out of Manhattan from Penn Station to all points on Long Island. It is one of the oldest and busiest railway systems in the world -- and you can drink on board, yes, there is a bar car on most trains, so that harrassed and angry Long Islanders can relax and simmer or defuse with a beer as they slide out to the island.

But the Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) wants to ban the bar car, fearful of drunk commuters falling on to the tracks (they are only fearful of this now, in the L.I.R.R.'s third century of service?) or otherwise doing what drunk people do best.

MTA Spokesperson: "They can have as many beers as they want as soon as they get home. I would prefer we don't let anyone drink alcohol on the train. If we're not ready to go that far … the least we can do is not make it easy for people to do it, which is, don't sell it."

Anonymous L.I.R.R. bar man: "The way I see it, I keep families together. A guy has a drink on the train ride home, and his wife picks him up at the station. Otherwise, he'd be driving around Long Island from bar to bar."