Bing-bong! Subway stories

Last night I went to visit a friend in Chelsea and eventually, very late (4:30 am), decided to take the train back to Harlem, with him going deciding to go visit a friend and accompanying me half of the journey up the Upper West Side.

There was a smiley old homeless man near us in the carriage, who shortly after we boarded, dropped his crack pipe and made a mad dash to grab it before collapsing into fits of giggles when he saw me grinning at his embarrassment.

That was all the introduction he needed, so he leaned over and said to me: "Son, would you like a Spiritual Reading?" I declined, but off he went.

"Let's see... you're an Aries."

"No."

"What part of the year were you born?"

"January."

"I knew it! Before the 15th... right?"

"No, January 29th!"

"Ok, Ok, so let me see... the illness you have, the one you saw a doctor about... He told you there might not be a cure, isn't that right?"

"I'm not even sick!"