Jesus turned water into grape juice

Prohibition, the era from 1919 to 1935 when the manufacture, possession, transportation and sale of alcohol was hilariously banned in the United States, represented the greatest triumph of the Prohibition Party, the "oldest third party" in the country after the Republicans and Democrats.

Of course, Prohibition failed the U.S: there resulted a massive wave of organized crime, enormous wealth for the bootlegging Kennedys, and many of the social problems associated with drinking actually increased because drinking went underground. It was 1935 before Prohibition was repealed — 16 years of social engineering by the federal government on behalf of people whose politics probably included a commitment to small government.

All so long ago. So it has come as a surprise to find that the Prohibition Party is alive and well in a dry township in eastern Pennsylvania, and that the party (all seven and a half members, it seems) "has nominated a candidate for president in every election since 1872..." Above is a snapshot of some of their recent campaign badges — everyone will remember how White House hopefuls Dodge and Kelly (don't they sound like an interesting dive bar?) nearly beat incumbent President Bill Clinton...

Prohibition is long gone. And Christmas is gone as well for another year — good riddance. See you on New Year's Eve at Dodge and Kelly's...

The Prohibition Party remains a moralistic and puritanical organization, even to the extent that some members have sought to prove that when the word 'wine' is used in the Bible, it really means 'grape juice.' Thus is the dilemma of the biblical literalists, who claim to read only the words of the good book and their straight-forward meaning: but when a word like 'wine' gets in the way of the point they want to shove down everyone's throat, they start to dig for a way to show that Jesus turned water into grape juice. Everyone knows it was cranberry juice.

Let's go down to Dodge and Kelly's for a vodka and cranberry or six...