Thursday, February 17, 2011

Shocking and Grotesque -- Take Your Pick

Dorothy Parker once reviewed a book thusly:
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
That is precisely how I feel about the flabbering, blathering, mumming, gawping and maudlin mess that is Ireland Central. Three choice items came prattling into my Inbox today...

1) Irish nun badly beaten in Florida -- see video! Amazing close-ups of the baseball bat hitting her forehead! Cheer as she goes down for the third time!

2) Irishman man forced to eat his own ear by thugs? Are you sure that "thugs" is the word to describe people who force you to eat your own ear, sorry, "WHO FORCE YOU TO EAT YOUR OWN EAR"? Are you sure that people would care more (or less) to know the ethnic origins of a victim of such misfortune and cruelty, that someone forced him to eat his own ear? Do Irish Central readers not mind the gangs of forced ear-eating thugs, so long as they don't attack anyone Irish?

3) Despite the enduring myth that Ireland is the land of Saints and Scholars, and despite an unending supply of writers, poets, dramatists, scribblers, basic grammar and spelling is as poor in Ireland as basic arithmetic (exampla gratia: any Irish government of the last ten years), as can be seen by the just plain wrongness of the third headline, above. I'm betting you has spotted it two. What, by the way, (see 2), is an "Irishman man"? (Thanks, Dominic).